Can Astrology Make You A Better Mother?

Thursday May 26th 2011
Gustav Klimt’s Mother and Baby

A friend’s child has a Moon-Pluto conjunction in the 8th House. Unfortunately, she’s an astrologer so she knows just how badly that reflects on her. Obviously, she must be a possessive vampire mother who devours her children and uses their bones to pick her teeth. Another friend of mine has one child with a 12th house Moon – and another with a flaky Moon-Neptune conjunction. So she must be helplessly and hopelessly childlike and at the same time emotionally distant. Looking at your child’s chart can really give you some sleepless nights, because there you are, a  little crescent in someone else’s psyche. Sometimes you can see yourself quite clearly through your child’s eyes and, well, it can be uncomfortablle. But… I can tell you that seeing myself in my children’s natal charts has been one of the most useful exercises in self-discovery for me. And since I have two children, I can see where their attitude to me is the same and where they differ, which parts of me they may inherit and which they may reject. For example, one child has Moon in Cancer (soft, loving, feminine, emotional) and one has Moon in Aquarius (fair, intellectual, quirky, masculine). Those are quite different moons and yet I see mysefl in both.

Mary Cassatt’s Mother and Baby

Mother is written more clearly than any other person in someone’s chart. Mother is the Moon certainly and consistently. Wherever she falls in your child’s chart, there are you. And my friends with the difficult placements. Actually, Q’s relationship with her child is intense and passionate, but profound. I had someone come see me last week with exactly that Moon-Pluto conjunction and she described her relationship with her mother as “excellent” and very “nurturing”. That’s not something you hear very often, but, if you think.about it a Moon-Pluto in the 8th could mean an amazingly deep emotional connection. Surely that’s no bad thing to have with your mother. And what about that 12th house Moon? Well, it describes a mother with a stellium in Pisces pretty well I think. That’s my friend. On the other hand, I talked to a couple of people  (also last week) with exactly that placement whose mothers were textbook 12 housers – distant, depressed and disinterested. A lot does depend on the other planets, but also on the wider situation. That’s why it’s so important to have a dialogue when you’re looking at someone’s chart. My point is this. Your child may have a seemingly badly placed Moon; it’s up to you to figure out how to use that energy well. And you do that by knowing yourself.

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  1. That was a wonderful post! Thank you!

  2. Anonymous says:

    This is interesting. Can you please tell me which of your children has the 12th house moon? Is it your aqua moon one?

    (because I have one myself, aqua moon in the 12th house).

  3. Sassy says:

    Arrghh, well wonder how my child sees me when he has Moon-Conjunct Saturn Cancer in 9th house.. eeekkk

  4. Anonymous says:

    Very interesting article. This explains my child’s 12th house moon. I too have a stellium in Pisces. Thanks for the post.

  5. Christina says:

    @Sassy – my gut response to that is: as both father and mother – but that might be way off. Ninth is interesting – are you the same nationality as your kid.

    @ANon -there were three 12th house moons in particular that I was thinking about – one in Cancer, one in Aries and one in Virgo. The one in Virgo being the toughest; the one in Cancer being the easiest.

    My own darling with the Aquarius Moon has it in the 5th! Yes, she is a gamester.

    How does it work for you in the 12th? Does it describe your mother?

  6. Anonymous says:

    My daughter has a ninth house moon conjunct Saturn and the same sign and degree as her father’s sun. When she was younger he told her he gave birth to her and they do have a much closer relationship in that way than she and I have.

  7. Christina says:

    So we’ve already got two 9th house moon kids here. That says something quite interesting about mothers who are seekers, who have broad horizons, who have big minds. It’s a nice placement.

  8. Mary says:

    When I was pregnant with my first child, I thought a Taurus moon sounded nice, so I tried to be as mellow as possible, to the point of taking up meditation and prenatal yoga. My Sagittarius daughter played her first prank on me by choosing to have a twelfth house Scorpio moon within a degree of her Scorpio ascendant. I could never have “chosen” a natal chart that could do justice to her unique soul.

  9. Isy Afloat says:

    I’ve nothing to add of real substance, just wanted to say I’ve had this open in a tab since it went up. It’s so lovely and resiliently optimistic, I love seeing it again.

  10. Cosmic Mummy says:

    Both me and my daughter have 11th house moon, hers in Taurus, mine in Scorpio. As a child I had great fun growing up with lots of adventures, outings and lots of discussions about ideas, I seem to be following suit too, learned Mother techniques. One thing I would try to remember though is that a child needs a Mum and not just a friend, the feeling I got with my own Mum especially in the teenage years when the Uranian need for independence and rebellion sets in.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Both my son and I have Moon in the 12th. My Moon conjuncts my Sun and Pluto, all three in Leo, Leo rising. His moon squares Uranus (I am an astrologer), squares Mars (we yell a lot), squares Pluto (lots of life and death issues we’ve had to deal with over the years). I too said YIKES when I saw his chart and wondered about our relationship. We are old now, I’m 66, he’s 46 and we live together off and on (he’s never married- Sag moon). I could go on and on, it’s all endlessly fascinating.

  12. Christina says:

    And then the next question is: what was your own mother’s chart?!

  13. anon says:

    I have a 9th house moon in Gemini tightly opposed by Uranus in the 3rd. My mother met my father while traveling abroad in the UK, then married, and although they were together for a decent number of years, it was having children that split them up. She whisked my brother away in the dead of the night to move to America. She repeated this erratic behavior with international consequences over the years, with my brother and I bouncing back and forth between the two countries as it suited her. By the time I hit my mid-20s I got tired of the chaos and she’s no longer a part of my life. It just seem so an obvious way for the astrology to play out!

    My partner has a tight Saturn/Jupiter conjunction in the 5th opposed 10th house moon in Aries. Any ideas how that might play out? It seems to tie in the whole family unit — mother, father, and children. We don’t currently have children although he LOVES the idea, reality is a bit more scary.

    • uranian moon says:

      Meant to add that partner’s Saturn/Jupiter conjunct Moon opp is very tight – 2 degree orb. Interestedly my mother has the Saturn/Jupiter conjunction in her 1st house in Capricorn. Family astrology is fascinating!

      Chriron is at play too! It’s tightly conjunct my Gemini moon in the 9th, and partner’s Chiron is conjunct his Venus in the 12th (part of a major 12th house/Taurus stellium – Sun, Mercury, Venus Mars) and my Venus in Scorpio in the 2nd opposing his Venus/Chiron exactly.

      Oof. Sorry if I overshared — wanted to share some backstory to complicated mother/daughter aspects and how they can play out in an unfortunately negative way.

      • Christina says:

        Actually it’s fascinating. I know quite a lot of people with Saturn-Jupiter and it’s actually a pretty tough conjunction to negotiate. It really is feast or famine, driving really fast with the brakes on… which actually kind of fits with your mother’s behaviour. Personally, I think the Libra one is easier to deal with.
        10th House Moon in Aries. What’s his mother like?
        I like your Venuses. I don’t want to get too sentimental here but it’s hard not to see healing through love. Your mother’s behaviour hurt you (Chiron-Moon), but here comes the guy who can lick that Chiron wound…

        • uranian moon says:

          His mother is very practical, sturdy, to the point of being stubborn. He resents her for not being warm and “motherly” enough. His parents also adopted two troubled young girls when he was 10. They were sisters who came from an abusive home and took up a lot of his parents’ time, love, and attention. He feels like those things were robbed from him. Still has trouble thinking of them as his family, and there is a lot of resentment directed at them and at this mother.

          ** Another interesting tie in. I have Libra rising and his Saturn/Jupiter falls right on my ascendant and his Moon on my descendant. He has Gemini rising and my Moon is on his ascendant and Uranus on his descendant.